“Cease striving and know that I am God.”
Psalm 46:10 (NASB)
We often think of striving as virtuous: trying hard, pushing through, doing our best. But in spiritual matters, striving can become a dangerous counterfeit of trust. It is a form of sin that wears a clever disguise—appearing noble on the outside while feeding pride, fear, and unbelief underneath.
Let’s unmask striving for what it truly is—and replace it with surrender.
1. Striving is Seeking to Exert Control, Not Surrendering to God
At its heart, striving is about control: trying to force outcomes, manage people’s responses, or engineer our circumstances. But Scripture repeatedly calls us to surrender—not to control life, but to yield it.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.”
Psalm 37:5
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:6-7
When we strive, we say in our hearts: “I must make this happen.”
When we surrender, we say instead: “I will obey and trust God to accomplish His purposes.”
2. Striving is Self-Reliance, Not Relying on God
Striving often grows from the illusion that we must depend on ourselves. But the Christian life is not powered by human strength—it is sustained by grace and dependent upon God.
“Apart from Me you can do nothing.”
John 15:5
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
“Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.”
Zechariah 4:6
When we strive, we say in our hearts: “If I work harder, I can fix this.”
When we rely on God, we say instead: “I will abide in Christ and trust His power to work in and through me.”
3. Striving is Demanding Our Preferred Outcome, Not Accepting God’s Will
Striving fixates on outcomes: the healing we want, the success we crave, the approval we seek. But a surrendered heart yields those outcomes to the sovereign will of God.
“Not my will, but Yours be done.”
Luke 22:42
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)
When we strive, we say in our hearts: “It must turn out this way.”
When we surrender, we say instead: “I will obey God and trust the outcome to His perfect will.”
4. Striving is Depending on Performance, Not Depending on Grace
Striving flows naturally from a performance mindset: believing that if we do enough or do it well enough, we will earn love, acceptance, or worth. But the Gospel is clear—our worth and standing before God is based entirely on grace, not performance.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)
“Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for ‘The righteous shall live by faith.’”
Galatians 3:11
“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28
When we strive, we say in our hearts: “I must earn approval and worth.”
When we rest in grace, we say instead: “I am accepted because of Christ alone. My obedience flows from love, not from a need to prove myself.”
5. Striving Is a Sin That Wears a Clever Disguise
Why is striving so deceptive? Because it can look like virtue:
Working hard looks responsible.
Trying to “fix” relationships looks loving.
Seeking control looks wise.
Performing looks diligent.
But when these good things are pursued without surrender to God, they become sinful forms of idolatry—placing trust in self instead of in God.
Paul warns of this kind of misplaced effort:
“Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?”
Galatians 3:3
And Jesus reminds us:
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for Me will find it.”
Matthew 16:25 (NIV)
You Cannot Make People Respond the Way You Want
One area where striving often takes root is in our relationships. Hear this truth clearly:
You cannot make anyone forgive you.
You cannot make anyone like you.
You cannot make anyone love you.
You cannot make anyone accept you.
You cannot make anyone approve of you.
No matter what you do. And you should not try.
All of these things come ultimately from the Father, not from people.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.”
James 1:17
Yes, we can appreciate and enjoy love, forgiveness, and approval when they come from others—but we are not to strive for them or try to control them.
Instead, we are called to a far higher way:
“And this is His command: to believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us.”
1 John 3:23 (NIV)
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
John 13:34
“Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great.”
Luke 6:35 (NIV)
Our calling is this:
- Love others unconditionally—whether or not they forgive us, like us, love us, accept us, or approve of us.
- Focus on loving God first.
- Show our love for Him through joyful obedience.
- Love others without expecting anything in return.
Final Word: Cease Striving
Striving wears us out.
Striving dishonors God.
Striving feeds fear.
Striving stirs pride.
But surrender brings peace.
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”
Psalm 37:7
“Cease striving and know that I am God.”
Psalm 46:10 (NASB)
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14 (NIV)
You can lay it all down today:
Your need to control outcomes.
Your desire to make others respond a certain way.
Your dependence on self-effort.
Your pursuit of approval.
Your obsession with performance.
Lay it down and trust Him.
Let striving cease. Let surrender rise.
And rest in the grace of God—who works all things for His glory and our good.
a surrendered life 